I look certifiably pregnant at this point, which I LOVE. I honestly still cannot believe that I am pregnant. And, in less than 5 months I will have a daughter. A little girl. I just stand in pure amazement and awe of how God has worked this out. Think about it... on this round of IVF, we went from 26 mature eggs down to one, "perfect" looking baby in the oven. Twenty-six possible embryos... possible children, and just one was all we needed and what God provided to give us our miracle and create our family.
It was two years ago this month that we started "trying" for a family. Last year at this time, I had just experienced the first disappointment of a failed IUI, which I really thought would work. Although I am in a blissfully happy place right now, I do not forget for a minute the heartache and heartbreak. In fact, I think I almost appreciate it more now... in the moment, it was hard, very hard, but all you could do is push through. But, looking back, I realize I probably didn't give myself enough grace (and maybe that was good) to realize how really hard it was at times. And, I am fully aware of how blessed we are. Truly. It could have been a much longer journey, but so far, God has met us where He needed to. To HIM be the glory.
Baby girl has not been as active today (I think she might have flipped because she was head down/face down so her feet and butt were in prime position to feel some action), but over the last few days, I cannot even get over how much I have felt her moving around in there. It's unreal. I can't wait until Matt can feel it.
Seems kind of crazy, but we have our first baby shower next weekend. Matt's dad's side of the family is throwing us a small little family shower since the crew will all be in town at his uncle's for Thanksgiving. Very exciting, but mostly excited just to see everyone. It's been a few years since we've seen his Aunt Mariah (lives in CA), so it will be fun.
In less exciting news, I toured another daycare yesterday which I liked but it was $1600/month! Holy crap. I feel like I might need to sell a kidney. It still makes sense for me to work even at that price, but with two, it would definitely be a different conversation. I would be spending most of the month working just to pay for childcare. Aye. On that note, back to earning my paycheck... I'll need it!
4 comments:
You look so good :)
I totally get what you mean about being grateful. We stormed through failed IUIs, clomid, a miscarriage, and a decision to stop all treatment...and now? How could we be anything but grateful?
And it blesses me to know that other people are in the same place of gratitude to God and Him alone.
You are adorable! I teared up reading your reflection. IF is so hard, but I think looking back there is so much we learn from it- and not a day you take your pregnancy and the miracle of life for granted.
*Also, I'm a little late, but I'm so glad your cramping was nothing- scary!
Half way there!! Wow!! You are such an inspiration to me and I just can't tell you enough how over the moon I am for you and your little nugget!! The journey was no joke, as I can certainly relate but, your precious baby girl will make it all seem well worth it! xoxo
New follower - saw your pic when I googled 19 weeks! (where I currently am) lol It's so sweet, and your blog is very honest. I am looking forward to reading more. (love the belted cardi, too! my fave looks to show off the bump!) Congrats & God bless!
http://lchejtmanek.blogspot.com/
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