Memere

All this depressing stuff on my blog lately! But, it's not depressing... it's also joyous. Don't get me wrong, I can't believe my sweet Mee-mer (Memere is pronounced like Muh-may, but we also affectionately called her Mee-mer) is in Heaven, but it's been great to be able to celebrate her life with the family.

The viewing/wake was Monday and the Mass and burial were Tuesday. Everything went really well, and all of Memere's grandchildren in attendance played a role in her Mass. The boys were pall bearers, the girls did readings or provided the offertory, and I did the eulogy. Thirteen of her 14 grandchildren were able to be there, and it was so awesome to have almost everyone together.

I thought I'd share her obituary and the eulogy, so you have a little more insight as to how awesome she was. Some of you reading have met her (SB'01 girls - Memere cooked us dinner one night when we were spring breaking in Clearwater), so you probably understand her awesomeness. :)

http://www.legacy.com/SPTimes/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=128392550

DAUGHTER, SISTER, WIFE, MOTHER, AUNT, GRANDMOTHER, GREAT GRANDMOTHER, BUSINESS WOMAN, PHILANTHROPIST, PARISHIONER, NEIGHBOR, FRIEND…
MEMERE, AS HER GRANDCHILDREN AND GREAT GRANDCHILDREN CALLED HER, WAS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE.

SHE WAS CARING AND COMPASSIONATE, HUMBLE AND STRONG, GIVING OF HER TIME AND RESOURCES, LOYAL AND HONEST. THOSE WHO KNEW HER WELL KNOW SHE WASN’T ONE TO SUGAR COAT THINGS, AND THAT’S ONE OF THE MANY TRAITS I APPRECIATED ABOUT HER. THAT AND HER QUICK WIT BROUGHT US LAUGHS RIGHT UP UNTIL THE END. SHE TAUGHT US ALL MANY VALUES, ESPECIALLY THE GOLDEN RULE – DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. SHE LIVED HER LIFE BY THIS SIMPLE SAYING.

ALTHOUGH IT’S EASY TO BE SAD THAT WE’VE LOST SUCH A DEAR PERSON TO ALL OF US, I KNOW MEMERE WOULD WANT US TO CELEBRATE HER LIFE AND REJOICE THAT SHE IS IN A BETTER PLACE, SMILING DOWN UPON ALL OF US WITH OUR OTHER LOVED ONES WHO PAVED HER ROAD TO HEAVEN.

SHE LIVED A WONDERFUL AND RICH ALMOST 82 YEARS. SHE WAS THE 7TH GIRL IN A ROW, BORN ON 7-7-27. CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HER LUCKY NUMBER WAS? SHE HAD A HUMBLE UPBRINGING AS ONE OF 14 CHILDREN IN A FRENCH CATHOLIC FAMILY IN NORTHERN MAINE AND WAS THE ONLY ONE IN HER FAMILY TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL. SHORTLY AFTER, SHE MOVED TO HARTFORD, CT AND LEARNED ENGLISH. SHE MET MY GRANDFATHER WHILE WORKING AT A RESTAURANT CALLED THE CHICKEN COOP. THEY WENT ON TO BE MARRIED, HAD 5 CHILDREN – TOMMY, MICHAEL, EDDIE, MARGARET AND JIMMY, MOVED TO ST. PETERSBURG FOR A NEW OPPORTUNITY AND HAD ONE MORE CHILD, VALERIE.

WHEN MY GRANDFATHER PASSED AWAY IN 1972, MEMERE TOOK OVER THE FAMILY BUSINESS, THE TREASURE ISLAND FUN CENTER, AND RAN IT SUCCESSFULLY FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS WHILE RAISING A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. SHE WAS A ROLE MODEL TO HER CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN, SHOWING US ALL THE VALUES OF HARD WORK AND PERSEVERANCE.

BUT, SHE WASN’T ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. MEMERE LED A VERY BALANCED LIFE WITH AN ACTIVE SOCIAL SCHEDULE AND INVOLVEMENT WITH HER CHURCH AND PHILANTHROPIC ENDEAVORS, ESPECIALLY THE SOROPTOMIST CLUB.

SHE ENJOYED BOWLING, PLAYING CARDS, TRAVELING AND GOING OUT DANCING. FROM BOWLING AN ALMOST PERFECT GAME OF 9 STRAIGHT STRIKES TO A NORTHERN EUROPEAN CRUISE TO DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY AT THE YACHT CLUB, SHE TRULY LIVED LIFE TO ITS FULLEST. AND, I KNOW MANY OF HER GRANDCHILDREN WILL ALWAYS FONDLY REMEMBER HEATED GAMES OF QUEEN OF SPADES, AND HANGING AROUND WHILE SHE PLAYED CARDS WITH THE GIRLS, PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE OLIVES FROM HER MARTINI.

SHE WAS EXTREMELY PROUD OF HER FAMILY. I KNOW THAT IN ADDITION TO HER CHILDREN, HER 14 GRANDCHILDREN – CHRIS, MYSELF, STEVE, JENNIFER, COREY, ERIC, DANIELLE, JACKY, KRISTINA, JAMIE, BRANDI, MARISSA, SABRINA AND LEAH AND HER 4 GREAT GRANDCHILDREN – COREYA, JAMES, KYLE, AND BRODY BROUGHT HER A LOT OF JOY.

THAT’S QUITE A LARGE FAMILY, AND IT IS COMPLETELY A TESTAMENT TO MEMERE AS OUR MATRIARCH THAT WE ARE ALL SO CLOSE KNIT. BEING SO CLOSE WITH MEMERE, MY AUNTS, UNCLES AND COUSINS WAS SOMETHING I USED TO TAKE FOR GRANTED… I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS THE NORM. AS I’VE GROWN OLDER, I REALIZE THAT NOT EVERY FAMILY HAS SUCH A BOND, AND I KNOW WE ALL OWE OURS TO THE EXAMPLE SHE SET. TO MY FAMILY, THE BEST WAY WE CAN HONOR MEMERE IS TO KEEP THAT BOND STRONG.

MEMERE WAS A WOMAN OF GOD, DEVOTED TO HER CATHOLIC FAITH. THERE ARE MANY BIBLE VERSES, WHICH I KNOW SHE TOOK COMFORT IN, THAT TELL US BY ACCEPTING JESUS AS OUR SAVIOR AND PLACING OUR TRUST AND FAITH IN HIM, WE WILL HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. IF YOU WERE AT THE WAKE LAST NIGHT, YOU HEARD THE DEACON QUOTE FROM ST. PAUL’S SECOND LETTER TO THE CORINTHIANS. HIS LONGER VERSE ENCOMPASSES MY FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE, WHICH I HAD ALREADY PLANNED TO SHARE. I THINK IT CAN BE APPLIED TO ANY SITUATION, AND I BELIEVE IT IS A VERSE THAT MEMERE LIVED THROUGHOUT HER LIFE. IN HIS SECOND LETTER TO THE CORINTHIANS, CHAPTER 5, VERSE 7, ST. PAUL SAYS, “WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT.” WE CANNOT SEE GOD, BUT WE KNOW HE IS WITH US. WE CANNOT SEE HEAVEN, BUT WE HAVE FAITH THAT IT IS ALL AROUND US AND THAT MEMERE IS THERE. WE MOURN NOT FOR MEMERE, BUT FOR OUR LOSS. BUT, BECAUSE OF OUR FAITH, WE TAKE COMFORT THAT WE WILL BE REUNITED WITH THOSE WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US TO HEAVEN, AND THAT UNTIL THEN, WE HAVE ONE MORE GUARDIAN ANGEL WATCHING OVER US.

A Better Place

Memere passed away this morning around 2:50 am. I actually left about 12 hours before then to head back to Atlanta. I didn't think she'd make it much longer, but it was all uncertain and I'd been in St. Pete since Monday morning. It was tough to say goodbye, but I had a great day with her Monday. She was still doing pretty well then, and she even stayed up late with us Monday night. Everyone that was going to come had been there (6 children (and spouses/ex-spouses), 14 grandchildren, 4 great grandchildren, her brother and sister-in-law, favorite niece, priests and others from church, friends, etc.). We'd begun 24 hour care with Hospice nurses about 36 hours before she passed, so the nurse on duty woke up my mom and aunt when Memere's breathing changed. They woke up my uncle and my 2nd cousin (Memere's niece), and they were all with her as she went to a better place. Jeannine spoke to her in French (Memere's first language) and my mom told her to go home and that her parents, husband, brothers and sisters, and my dad were waiting for her. Shortly after that, she took her final breath. I am so thankful that it was peaceful and she was not in any pain. Also, a sweet lady from the church came yesterday to give her communion, and we sat and prayed the Rosary. I have not done that in years, and it was powerful and healing to do it.

She will be greatly missed, but I am just so thankful I had her in my life for 27+ years and that we shared such a great relationship. Until the glorious day when we meet again...

My cousin, Marissa, and Memere at our wedding.

My bub seating Memere and Gram at our wedding.

Picture from an article in the Evening Independent in 1976. We don't look alike or anything, do we?

Recap

Whew! It's been a busy few weeks, and this is going to be short, but I wanted to share some pics of our Memorial Weekend. I have more at home (I'm at work and I just pulled these from ones I've already uploaded to facebook) and more on my good camera (my birthday present I never told the story about) that I still need to dump. Anyway...

We went to Florida for Memorial Weekend to attend my good friend, Allison's wedding (gorgeous) and visit with my family. Allison had an 11:00 am wedding in Orlando, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to go at all. But, we got to see the ceremony and we stayed at the reception long enough to eat (delicious food) and congratulate the newlyweds.

Me, Allison, Brian and Melissa (my "pag" girls + the new hubs)

I can tell from pictures that we missed a good party, but we had to get on the road to St. Pete to visit with Memere before it got too late. I wasn't sure if I'd see Memere again, so that was definitely a tearful goodbye. Back story - the doctors have said that once Memere stops dialysis, she'll only live for a few days. And, she's over it. She's not improving like she should and although she still has good days, she absolutely dreads going to dialysis and it completely wipes her out. She developed emphysema, and she gets winded just walking from her bedroom back to the couch and is on oxygen for as long as she lives. Despite all that, it's still hard to believe she could be gone that quickly. Anyway, I will see her again in this life, because when she decides to stop going to dialysis, I am heading down there to be with her. I know it might seem morbid to some, but I want to be there when she leaves this world for a better place. I've always held a very minuscule grudge that I was not with my father when he passed away... I was babysitting across the street and my mom asked the family to make up an excuse to keep me there when they got home. She regrets that, too. In any case, I want to be by Memere's side. I just pray that everything is quick and painless and she just goes to sleep. Now, enough of the sad stuff! We also got to spend a lot of time with my other amazing grandmother, Gram. I seriously have the coolest Grandmothers ever. I could talk to Gram for hours and listen to stories of their travels (Gramps was a retired lieutenant colonel and they lived all over the US and world), of her childhood, and just her general beliefs.

Sweet Brody

Memere enjoying her youngest great grandchild... check out that Gator bib! The brainwashing begins early.

Funniest 3 year old I know. And, such a little stud.

On Sunday, we spent the day out on the boat with Matt's good friend, Jason. Although I caught the most fish of the day (Jason was a wonderful captain), Matt wins the award for the biggest. I also snagged a seagull and Matt snagged a pelican! Ha, that's what we get for casting into baitfish being chased by mackerel with birds diving in for some dinner, too!

Yes, that is an eyeball... of a fish. So, Matt lands the fish and it comes off the hook in the boat... we then notice that the fish is bleeding pretty good... and then I see that it's left eye socket is completely void of anything. And, this is what we found on the hook. I'm not sure if a fish can survive with one eye, but hopefully our friend is thriving.

Our one eyed bonita.

After Matt removed the hook.

The pelican Matt hooked. He was cool. We called him Fred.

Pretty sky on the way back in.

We looked at some houses last weekend, and we may have found "the one." But, I don't want to jinx it yet. We haven't put in an offer, because Matt wants to go back and see it one more time, and he's gone until next weekend. It needs a little updating, but it's immaculate and 100% livable, as is. I'm meeting with our realtor tonight to look at a few houses we haven't seen yet, but really only one of them is promising. Plus, we've already redecorated "the one" in our heads. :)

I was in NY for work the last two days. I love it. I especially love Greenwich Village, SoHo, Chelsea and the West Village. That's a lot of neighborhoods, but I love that general area... so much quieter than Midtown and Downtown. We ate at one of Mario Batali's restuarants, Lupa. It was pretty good... didn't knock my socks off, but it was a good meal for the price! I had gnocchi for the very first time, and it was delish!

I'm "working from home" tomorrow and heading down to the burbs because one of my bestest friends, Kelly, is coming in town, and we're going to hang out with Jenn and play with Madelyn! Kelly doesn't even like babies, but she is so excited to meet her "niece"! I love it. Until next time...

P.S. I thought it was going to be short, but then I got going... haha!

Baby Shower - way late!

I didn't take any pictures at the baby shower brunch Jenny and I threw for Jenn, but she finally posted some! YAY! I gotta give her a hard time. :)

The awesome spread and my pretty presents. A lot of the servingware was courtesy of Jenny, but I did all the food and drinks and flower arranging.

Jenny's adorable clothesline onesie idea.

Momma J. (See the diaper cake we made on the mantle? hahahaha).

Oh, these petit fours were some trouble, but I made them work! M for Madelyn... NOT "M"s. Yeah, that's what Publix put on them, because I wrote on the direction that I wanted script "M"s on each petit four. I asked the guy if he understood what I meant, and he said yes. Clearly the lady making them did not. Really, who would put "M"s on them, I ask!?

It was also my b-day that day, so I had to have mimosas and bloody marys!

After all the hard work!

Mission Accomplished

Withdrawal symptoms have temporarily subsided. I realize I am completely and utterly biased, but Madelyn is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen, and I enjoyed monopolizing the holding and feeding and burping for a few hours.

And, the adorableness that is Shawn Johnson won Dancing with the Stars! Yay! Mark my words: Kris Allen will win AI tonight! (I hope I don't regret saying that.)

Withdrawal

I am suffering from withdrawal... best friend withdrawal. You see, my best friend and I have the type of connection where you finish each other's sentences, agree on 99.9% of things in life, and talk on a daily basis. Well, said best friend had a baby... my darling little niece, Madelyn. So, needless to say, best friend has not had time to e-mail and talk on the phone. And, I'm completely cool with that, I just wish the headaches and the shakes would subside.

Cure: heading down to the 'burbs for some girl time, featuring lots of cooing at baby and swooning over Kris Allen on American Idol (and then hopefully heading home to see Shawn Johnson win DWTS)!

I'm trying to stimulate the economy here!

Throw me a bone. So, after doing more research (we're still buying a house... or planning to), I've realized some things aren't as good as they seem. Matt and I qualify for more home than we want to purchase, so no problems there. Since we're first time home buyers, we also qualify for as low as 5% down on a 30-year fixed conventional mortgage. However, if you put less than 20% down, you're required to have mortgage insurance (PMI). No big deal... it's now tax deductible, so it's not a big deal to me. Alternatively, you can do an FHA loan, but the max loan amount is $346,000 and it's more expensive money (read: higher interest rate and up front cost), but you don't have to pay PMI. Here's the kicker and the thing you don't hear about... although any lender is willing to give us a 95% LTV (loan to value) mortgage, mortgage insurance companies will not insure anything over 90% LTV and some won't insure over 85% LTV (this is specific to Atlanta and any other markets that are considered declining or oversupplied, so basically anywhere in the sunbelt). The MI companies are just flat out of capital due to all of the foreclosures. I had no idea, and I work in real estate (albeit, commercial, but still). Also, we may not qualify for the $8,000 tax credit afterall. I never thought I'd complain about making too much money. We'd qualify if they go by your 2008 tax return, but I'm assuming they'll use the 2009 return, and of course Matt gets his project bonus for the last 2.5 years this year (most likely), and I'm earning more than I did last year. Again, I'm very happy we are both doing well in our careers, but I didn't realize there was a cutoff earnings amount for the tax credit. Doesn't the government know we're trying to buy a house in intown Atlanta and it's freaking expensive?!? We need that $8K! :)

So, anyway, that's my rant for the day. Maybe I educated someone on what's going on in the market. Thankfully, we're still okay having to put 10% down, and we may still do FHA depending on the difference between a low rate plus PMI and a higher rate with no PMI. If we have to put 15% down, we're going to have to start looking at a lower price point or liquidate an investment or two (hey, do realized losses factor into AGI... hmmmmm...). :)

P.S. I just want to add that Matt and I are very smart with our money... we have no debt except my student loan at an extremely low interest rate, which is why we don't just pay it off. We're not trying to get into more house than we can afford, and I don't advise anyone buying something with monthly payments more than 25-30% of your net earnings. We just wanted to conserve as much of our savings as possible, which is why we were looking at 5% down since money is so cheap right now. Our payments would have hit our target range. Just wanted to clarify that! :)

Big news...

No, I am not pregnant. :) But, we are buying a house! I guess that's a bit premature, but we are looking into buying a house. I am filling out paperwork to get prequalified for a mortgage, and I met with a super cute, super sweet realtor this morning (quite different from GRITS crazy realtor). If any of you are intown Atlanta readers and looking to buy/sell a home, check out Mary Stuart Iverson with Harry Norman. I hope we become friends after the buying part is over!

Matt and I have talked about buying a home for a while, but with him getting sent down to the booming metropolis of Tifton, GA for work, we decided to take a step back. And, then we (I?) decided that this market was too good to pass up. Interest rates are so low, prices are down, and we get an $8,000 tax credit. Plus, I'm ready to grow up a little more and have a house and a dog and then maybe some kids, too. ;) Sometimes I can't tell how he feels about it (he expresses emotion at strange times and sometimes in strange ways), but I left the decision up to him, and he said let's do it.

I have been internet searching for a while, but I can't wait to actually start looking at some of these houses. There were a couple I've had my eye on, and Mary Stuart instantly told me I didn't want a few of them. I love her honesty. She's not going to let us get into something that won't be a good investment. Our lease expires July 31, so depending how it goes at first, we may be in a house by then. If it looks like it might take us longer than we want, we'll try to extend our lease a month or two and keep looking, but I anticipate we will own our first home by the end of the summer. Who wants to come be our first house guests!?

Swoon

Kris Allen makes me melt like buttah. I will stand in line to buy his debut album, and I will definitely be purchasing his version of Heartless on iTunes. Swoon...

Weekend Fun

We headed down to Jacksonville, Florida to enjoy the fabulous TPC at Sawgrass on Saturday and Brody's baptism and Mothers Day on Sunday. Unfortunately, the PGA Tour doesn't allow cameras or cell phones, so I don't have any pictures, but suffice it to say it was H-O-T! I'm not sure I'd post any pics anyway, because I was about soaked in sweat. I think it's been two or three years since I was last at the TPC, and it may have been before they switched the tournament to May. It used to be the last weekend in March, but tournament officials changed the date due to numerous years of rain delays. I wouldn't mind if they moved it back to March when I could sport a cute sundress and cardigan and be comfortable. :) But, we had a great time and enjoyed some good golf.

On Sunday, we celebrated the baptism of our sweet nephew and godson, Brody Shane. He was good, and didn't cry too much, but I don't think he appreciated the cold water on his head. :) We then spent the rest of the day at Christine's family's house enjoying lots of food and a nice, cool pool. Matt and I actually ended up staying last night and driving back very early this morning, because we didn't want to leave the pool!

And, now, for your viewing pleasure...

the proud parents and godparents

the clan