Introducing Laine Catherine

Little Miss Laine Catherine entered our world on May 5, 2015 at 8:10 PM weighing 8 pounds 1.8 ounces and measuring 20 inches in length with a 14 inch circumference head (conehead and all! aye!).  I can't believe I have TWO kids... little girls at that!  We are so blessed and so thrilled that Laine is here and is a healthy, happy, content little baby.  While it is still fresh in my mind, I want to document her birth story like I did with Greer's.

One half day old.

I had my first cervix check at 36 weeks and I was thrilled that I was 1/2 centimeter dilated, as I did not dilate at all with Greer until I started Pitocin.  However, at every subsequent visit up until 39 weeks, I was only dilated 1 centimeter and was not effaced at all.  At my 38 week appointment, we decided that I would be induced based upon my delivery with Greer and my strong belief that Laine was going to be at least one pound bigger.  (This was an educated opinion, as Laine's estimated weight at my 28 week ultrasound was one ounce more than Greer's at her 32 week ultrasound.  I had a 28 week ultrasound due to placenta previa at my 20 week, which thankfully had resolved itself.)  Even though my inductions are not truly elective, they consider them as such compared to women who are past their due dates, so I was on a wait list for cervadil on May 4 and induction on May 5.  On Friday, May 1, I received a voicemail that I didn't see until after I left work that my induction had been canceled.  UM, WHAT!?  How can you cancel someone's delivery!?  I had just wrapped up to start my maternity leave and my mom was coming in town the next day!  Of course, the office was closed, so I called the after hours line and was able to reach the doctor on call.  I ended up again on a wait list but with a rescheduled induction on May 7.  Not ideal but what was I going to do!?  I had my 39 week appointment the morning of May 4, so I held out hope that either something would open up or my doctor would work her magic.

My mom still came in town as scheduled, and Matt and I attended the wedding of one of his best friend's that night.  Despite my best efforts, I was not able to dance her out.  :)  I also tried walking her out at the zoo on Sunday, but that was also unsuccessful.

I went to my appointment on Monday, and true to her ways, Dr. Williams had gotten me back on the books and I was to report to the hospital that night for cervadil!  YAY!  I was still at 1cm and not effaced, but I knew that would change soon enough.

 

 

My mom and I busied ourselves running errands that day, got a manicure and pedicure, and I finished packing my hospital bag.  We decided to grill out for dinner and had burgers and corn on the cobb.  I snuggled with Greer as much as I could before we left, and I made Matt swing through Chick-fil-a for a cookies and cream milkshake on the way, even though we were running late.  Priorities.  When we arrived and I got all checked in and the cervadil placed, I was 60% effaced even though I was not effaced at all that morning (still 1cm and -3 station).  Hooray for small victories!  We settled in for the night, and I took the full dose of the sleepy medicine this time and passed out in no time.  Apparently something was beeping on my machines and I didn't even budge.  The meds wore off around 3am and I was restless the rest of the night, but I was thankful for that little bit of solid sleep, especially given how poorly I'd slept most of my pregnancy.

 

 

The next morning, it was time to get the party started.  When they took the cervadil out, I was still at 1 centimeter and was 70% effaced.  This was similar to my experience with Greer where I was 0 cm and 0% effaced before cervadil and 0 cm and 10% effaced after.  It doesn't seem to do much for me.  We got the Pitocin started at 7:45, and I had my IV redone at 8:35 as it was not in a good place and we weren't getting a good flow of meds.  Dr. Williams checked me at 9:25, and I was 2 cm and still 70% effaced but she was beginning to drop just a little bit (between -2 and -3 station).  My water broke on its own with Greer just a couple hours into the Pitocin, but that didn't happen this time.  So at 12:45, Dr. Williams broke my water.  I was 3 cm at this time and still at 70% effaced and -2 station.  The contractions were still very bearable, but I knew that would change.  I asked for the epidural not too long after that before things got intense.  I had been keeping notes up until this time, so I am not sure of the exact timing between then and my epidural because things got very painful.

 

It's all fun and games until a contraction comes on.

This was an accidental picture but caught during a contraction... before they got really bad.

Much better contraction pattern than with Greer (that's me on the top).

I think I got my epidural somewhere around 2:15-2:30, so there was a good hour of very painful contractions before I got relief.  I wondered how I ever even thought I might go without drugs.  Ouch.  The epidural was much less dramatic this time, as I provided fair warning of my previous experience.  My BP did drop again, but since they were ready for it, it wasn't nearly as bad.  Also, to backup a little bit, much like with Greer, Laine was having little decels here and there, so I was shifting around every which way trying to get her in a good place.  She was being a bit of a booger and really didn't like any way I was situated.  She also seemed to lodge herself way up into my right rib cage, so I was incredibly uncomfortable, even with the epidural.

 

After the epidural, I was 5 cm and 90% effaced.  I was not completely numb (again), but my left leg was dead, which was a very weird feeling.  My legs didn't go dead with my previous epidural.  But, even though I wasn't completely numb, the epidural was a HUGE relief.  My nurse came to check on us around 5:00, because Laine was again having some decels.  She shifted me around a little bit and then said, let me check you as something is going on here.  Sure enough, I was fully dilated and effaced except for a small lip of cervix that was getting in the way.  It was coming and going, so she called in Dr. Williams to check me out.  In the meantime, I was sitting up, trying to get Laine to drop a bit more.  Dr. Williams came and wasn't concerned about the little lip as she felt it would move more once the baby dropped some more, which I knew from experience wouldn't happen without me pushing.  So the room was prepped and I started pushing around 6:25. 

 

(My mom had been at the hospital most of the day and was very upset to have to leave right when the fun was about to start.  Thankfully, our awesome friends and neighbors took Greer that evening so she was able to come back and be there when Laine was born!  Well, she was in the waiting room but she got to come in and see her after.)  :)

 

It was as hard and as uncomfortable as it was last time.  I had to have oxygen, I had to shift in weird ways (though I didn't have to push on my sides), and I for some reason could not figure out how to hold my breath in my chest instead of in my face, which led to me popping a ton of capillaries on the sides of my face (which I didn't notice until the next day).  Thankfully, my epidural held out better, so I didn't experience the full pain of delivery but I still was not completely numb either.  After the first few pushes, they asked if I'd like a mirror and I accepted.  I was having trouble feeling if I was really making any progress at first, so it was definitely helpful to see her little head just barely peeking through my pelvis.  Just like with Greer, it took a lot of time and effort to mold her head through my small pelvic opening.  What was absolutely crazy to me both times is how quickly it does come through once you get to a certain point.  I felt it with Greer, so it was really neat to see and feel it this time.  I was so glad I didn't have to push for 2.5 hours this time... an hour and forty-five minutes was plenty!  As soon as she came out, Dr. Williams and the nurses all commented on her being a big baby, "at least 8 pounds," and remarked on her many chins!  We don't make skinny babies, even if they're less than 7 pounds like Greer.  She was placed on my chest, and I was so much more aware and in the present this time.  I could not believe I got an 8+ pound baby out of me!!  She was perfect, and I was so relieved.  I'm pretty sure one of the first things I said was that she looked NOTHING like Greer!  And, other than her ears, she really doesn't.  As I predicted, she is blonde haired (very blonde!) and I am 99% sure will keep her blue eyes.  In fact, I didn't think she looked like anyone, so I jokingly questioned whether or not they mixed up embryos, which was echoed by my mom.

 

 

I was shocked when they weighed and measured her.  Greer was 6 pounds 15 ounces and her head was only 12.25 inches.  I knew Laine was going to be bigger, but what was shocking to me was her head measurement of 14 inches (90th percentile)... and that was WITH that major conehead!  I measured her head when we got home from the hospital and it was rounded out, and it was 14.5 inches (99th percentile).  Matt and I both have bigger heads, so it's not shocking in that way, as I expect our kids to have larger heads.  I am just amazed that I was able to push that big of a baby out!

 

Once we got settled into our post partum room, Matt left for the night (I was fine, so I didn't see any reason for him to sleep there and I knew he wanted to be home for Greer in the morning).  I tried to room in with Laine, but she was too squeaky and I didn't sleep at all.  So after our first feeding that night, I had them take her to the nursery.  I slept a little better but not much and was extremely exhausted the next day.  Matt brought Greer in the morning, and she was absolutely adorable!  She walked in and was immediately pointing out the baby, baby sleeping, baby's hat is pink, etc.  We actually do have some pictures of their meeting, but I don't know who has them.  My best friend/photog extraordinaire Jenny came that morning and I know she got some pictures, but I haven't seen them yet.

 

Also, at this point, we had not settled on a name for her.  I texted Matt sometime very early that morning that I was leaning toward Laine Catherine.  So, when he came in and after the initial introductions of Greer and baby, he agreed that Laine Catherine was it.  And so it was.  :)

 

 

My pain got pretty bad that day.  I never had much pain at all with Greer.  I was very sore, but it wasn't high pain.  I guess an 8+ pounder with a huge head really does change things.  I told Matt that when I said I wanted another one, remind me of how I feel at that moment.  I'm pretty tough, and it was so bad that I was almost in tears at one point.  After some additional meds, I felt a little relief.  Matt got us sushi that night for dinner.  I let them take Laine to the nursery, and I slept with the TV on, which for some reason, made me sleep much better (I think it drowned out the hallway noise).  The next day, we were out of there by 11am, which was AWESOME!  Our hospital experience was great thanks to the wonderful nurses, but we were ready to be home and get life started as a family of four.

 

On our way home!

Mother's Day Brunch

Yep, this was the best pic I got of me and my girls on Mother's Day... Laine is just outside of the shot.

Anatomy of a yawn.

Out and about... exploring the Atlanta BeltLine!

Sweet dreams.

Greer at around 2 weeks and Laine at 1 week.  Such different girls!

 

My mom was here for almost two weeks, which was amazing.  It was such a huge help to have her around, especially in taking care of Greer.  We were sad to see her go!  So far, Laine has pretty much been a dream baby.  We're not doing so great in establishing a schedule because she can be a bit of a lazy eater at times, but she's doing so great at night, I don't care too much!  I mean, she is only three weeks old after all.  I've been sleeping with her next to me in the rock and play, which has also been a game changer.  I could not sleep with Greer next to me, but I guess I'm just more relaxed this time and the little noises don't keep me awake.  It's also good that I can sleep with her next to me, because she has some reflux and does this terrible gagging thing, sometimes even quite awhile after she eats and in a reclined position rather than flat on her back.  I wouldn't want to be far away from her when those episodes happen, even though she clears them on her own.  I still can't not react. 

 

I can't believe she's only three weeks old, as I feel like she's been around forever.  Greer has adjusted so well to being a big sister, which is no surprise to me.  She is very sweet and helpful and loves to give Laine kisses.  Life is good!

 



An open letter to my daughter...

(My second daughter, that is.  Surprise!  I'm pregnant with #2 and due in early May.)

Sweet girl.  You still do not have a name.  I have not taken weekly pictures of my growing belly.  In fact, I barely have any pictures of my belly.  Most of your clothes (and everything else) are hand me downs from your big sister.  You don't have a nursery, as you and Greer will share a room and you'll be floating between mommy and daddy's room and the guest bedroom until we get Greer comfortable in her big girl bed and you're sleeping through the night so you two can have slumber parties.  I have not had baby showers (though I am having a tea to celebrate you tomorrow and work is throwing me a shower next week!).  We still have quite a few things to do at home to get ready for your arrival (and I have plenty to wrap up at work).

Life is busy, sweet girl.  Mommy and daddy both have demanding jobs, your big sister and doggie siblings are demanding of our time, mommy's extracurricular involvement in way too many things keeps me running crazy, I don't have time to read blogs (except when I'm having pregnancy induced insomnia), and I haven't had time to write one either.  It is a much different time and experience as we prepare for you.  But, let me tell you this.  I knew I would love your sister.  But, I didn't know how much.  I knew my life would be better than it was before her, but I didn't know in what ways.  (I also know the hard times we might face, and that's okay too... I know everything is a phase!)

But with you sweet girl, as I sit here typing and feel you hiccuping in my belly, I feel as much wonder as I did with your sister.  I feel as blessed and as lucky to be your momma.  And, I already love you more than I did at this point with her, because I now know the capacity of my love for you as your mommy.  Your daddy and I are so excited to bring you into our family.  We have wanted you since before you were formed by God (in a petri dish, much like your sister, and then in my womb), and we have loved you since we first knew you were a possibility.  Our love and anticipation for your arrival has only grown along with my belly... and our hearts.  We cannot wait to meet you and see the excitement and new dynamic that you will bring to our family.  Having a sister myself, I am so incredibly excited that you and Greer will be blessed with each other as sisters and friends and pray that your relationship will be one of love, admiration and respect, despite the differences I know that you will have.

So, my precious soon-to-be second born, while our preparation for you has been so different from the first time we did this, it is not because we love or want you any less.  If anything, all of the emotions are greater knowing how much you will bless all of our lives.  I cannot wait to see your face and hold you in my arms and learn your features and personality (and finally decide what you will be named!).  I cannot wait to see the bond you form with your daddy, who I have to tell you really loves having a daughter and is quite excited about another, and with your sister.  I think I will hold you a little tighter and kiss you even more (if that is possible) than I did with your sister knowing how quickly the time flies by and how quickly you will grow.  You will be here oh so soon and our lives will be so much better for it.  I cannot wait.

With my whole heart,
Your Momma

It could've been different...

My sweet cousin miscarried her first pregnancy. In writing how she felt about it after she conceived again, she said that through prayer, she and her husband had come to the realization that the little spirit that was meant for them was not present in that first pregnancy and that's why it was not viable (paraphrasing). I didn't think too much about it at the time and felt it was as good a reason as any to justify something like that.

On Mother's Day, I was talking to one of my best friends and said something about if I had gotten pregnant all the times I wanted to before Greer, particularly referring to the first IVF, I would not have her. It's possible I'd have a daughter named Greer Elizabeth but it wouldn't be her. It was a profound realization that came out of a very ordinary conversation. I literally had never thought of it this way, and it reminded me of my cousin's beautiful writings on her miscarriage and pregnancy. I was so caught up in getting pregnant and having a baby that while I knew that God was going to send us the little spirit that was meant to be our child and He knew who, when, how, etc, there is no way I could have possibly understood that until now... now that I know her and I cannot dream of a different child. She is perfect for us, and God knew this. His plans are always greater than mine, even when I question them like an impatient child. We can't possibly understand Him fully... He's so far beyond what we are. We may be created in His image, but we are not Him, and thank God (pun intended) for that! We would never get the full glory of His plans for us if we were fully in charge.

If you are struggling with anything now and questioning God, I get it. And it sucks. But when His plans for you have been fulfilled in this matter, I hope you have the type of realization I did this weekend and praise Him for the process. I hope you're able to praise Him for the process where ever you are in it, but if anyone realizes how hard that is, I do! There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning... and oh how sweet it is.

It could've been different, and thank God it wasn't.

Also, something I never shared... http://jennylaurenphotography.myshowit.com/greer/index.html.  Love.

Greer Elizabeth

We could not be more thrilled to announce to the blogosphere that our beautiful daughter, Greer Elizabeth, was born at 10:02P on Thursday, March 28, 2013.  She weighed in at a whopping 6lb 14.9oz and measured 20 inches in length (cone head and all) with a 12-1/4" circumference head (i.e., 1/2 inch smaller than momma's and a full inch smaller than daddy's... good thing too! -EDITED (4/16/13): I went back and looked at my newborn picture from the hospital and my head was actually 13-1/2"!! My chest was 12-3/4" which is what I was thinking of above... and I weighed less than her. Ha!).

My amazing friend Jenny came and took these pics of Greer when she was all of 12 hours old.  So precious, and what an awesome birthday gift to me!  We are doing her newborn photos this weekend, and I cannot wait to see them.  Jenny is so talented.

Anyway, I wanted to write out the birth story while it is fresh on my mind.  It was a whirlwind of a day!  As I said in my last post, I went in at 5:30 on March 27 to start cervadil.  It was very surreal yet normal to be walking in to be admitted to the hospital to have a baby.  I don't think either of us knew what to think, but we were so excited and anxious to meet our girl.  They took blood, hooked me up to monitors, and put the cervadil in place.  I didn't get a whole lot of sleep between being tethered to monitors and just being excited, so before I knew it, the morning had rolled around and it was time to get going.  Only it wasn't.  I was supposed to be induced at 6am but there were so many babies born the night before, they weren't quite ready for me.  So, I just chilled and at about 9:30, a nurse came to fetch me to get started.  Matt was out of the room making some phone calls, so I let him know where I was being moved and I think I may have been hooked up to the Pitocin before he even got everything moved from our antepartum room to L&D.  Oh, but to back up, I was not dilated a bit from the cervadil.  My cervix was thinned a little bit but that was it.

So, they start the Pitocin slowly and work the way up.  At around 11:30A, I was talking to my friend Kelly on the phone and had to abruptly hang up on her because I felt a gush of uncontrollable pee.  As I got up and tried to get untethered from the monitors and grab my IV pole, I could not stop peeing.  It was so embarrassing... Matt, my mom, sister and BFF were all in the room and there I am leaking pee across it as I hurry to the bathroom.  So, I empty my bladder and stand up and there's still fluid leaking from me.  At that point, I said call Lindsay (my L&D nurse), I think my water broke.  I honestly didn't expect it to break on its own, especially just two hours after being on Pitocin.  I was relieved I hadn't lost all control of my bladder and obviously excited!

The contractions were not terrible, but by 1:00P I was ready for the epidural.  Knowing it would take about 45 minutes after I requested it, I got on that.  Of course, so did several other women so it was about an hour and a half or so before I got it.  The contractions were not unbearable, but I wasn't smiling or talking through them either.  My doctor told me to get some pain meds that would make me feel like I drank some margaritas, so I did and it definitely helped me relax.  The epidural was pretty painless, and I wasn't nervous for it at all.  Plus, the anesthesiologist was hot.  I told them that when my mom had gotten her epidurals, she got really sick immediately after just as my BP dropped from 130/90 to 90/38.  They threw some meds in my IV and then lost Greer's heartbeat on the monitors.  So, they called in backups and it was a bit chaotic as I moved from side to side and they repositioned her heart monitor on my belly to pick it back up.  Poor Matt was about to cry, but I was surprisingly calm.  I just trusted that God wasn't going to get us that far for naught.

At this point, I was only 1cm dilated.  Not too long after getting my epidural, I mentioned to my nurse that I hadn't peed in a while before the epidural and they also pumped me full of fluids, so she cathed me and 500ccs later, I was complaining that it hurt only I just had an epidural so why could I even feel anything.  Around 4:30 they checked me and I was at 8cm and -1 station.  Within an hour I was fully dilated!  I was glad my epidural didn't fully numb me because I could feel the pressure of her descending and I could tell when I was having contractions.  I would have preferred to be a little more numb at the end but we'll get there.  :)  My amazing doctor and I did a little holy cow, this is working cheer and decided I would sit awhile to let her continue to drop before I started pushing.  She went to deliver another baby and I sat there for about two hours.  I started to feel very sick, so I was worried I wasn't going to be able to do it.  Thankfully they gave me some anti-nausea meds and that did the trick.  I started pushing around 7:40P.

We still didn't know if it was going to work, but I'll be damned if I was going to have gotten that far and not pushed with all I had to get her out.  After about an hour of pushing, I asked my doctor if it was going to happen.  She told me that if it was someone else, maybe not.  But my strength was going to get this baby out.  The CrossFit and walking a 5K at 38 weeks paid off.  It was very tiring, but I did it and I was pretty proud of myself!  It was getting pretty painful toward the end... something I was not expecting, but I also believe that if I wasn't feeling all I was feeling, I would not have been able to get her out of there.  I could feel when I needed to push and when I needed to give it that extra umph to push her through my narrow pelvis.  My doctor basically summed it up that the first hour and a half to two hours of pushing was just to mold her head to fit through (and you'll be able to see that in the pics) and then it was just getting her out from there.  And, it was true.  Once she'd passed through my pelvis, things happened pretty fast and I was pretty uncomfortable!  Matt's reactions to the things happening were pretty priceless.  I remember a few "Oh my Gods" and such come from him as she came out.  :)

They had the NICU team on standby because of her heart decels during labor, but thankfully they came and went quickly.  They placed her blue body on my chest after she came out and it was a bit before she cried, but once she did, she pinked up pretty quickly.  Her APGAR scores were 7 and 9, which is awesome.  I thought with how blue she was, things might not be so great.  But, she was just fine.  They cleaned her up and brought her back to me and I got to hold her skin to skin while they fixed me up.  It all seemed to happen so fast and I still can't believe it, even after having her here for almost 8 full days.  Such a miracle.

We are doing well at home, and my recovery has been awesome.  I am so glad I didn't end up with a C-section.  I was sweeping the back porch the day after I got home from the hospital (the dismal Gator game drove me outside) and was at Target Tuesday enjoying a solo shopping trip.  So far, Miss G is a really easy baby.  She's easily consoled and most of her crying is because she's getting changed, is hungry, has a dirty diaper, or just wants to be held.  Every night has been different, from the awful first night home to an accidental stretch of 5 hours from the start of one feeding to the next.  Oops.  :)  But, she's eating well and sleeping fairly well for being all of 8 days old.  I can't complain, not that I would anyway.  She's what we prayed for and so much more.  We are very blessed.

Home at last!  So tiny.

Happy Easter!

Maddie checking out her sister.  Max could care less but Maddie is a little momma.

Aunt Jenn finally gets to hold Greer!

My loves.

Greer's actual due date... already 6 days old.